Frasier 5.0: "How I Spent my Unemployment"
"How Low we've Fallen"
Due being recently unemployed because of his brother's obsession with trending fad "Pokemon Go", and inability to maneuver a segway scooter while playing. Frasier Crane sat on his sofa couch wearing matching gray sweatpants and sweatshirt each adorned with various cheeto, pizza, and grease stains.
Frasier shifted himself on the couch so that his now rotund belly was in the air, and struggled to retrieve a "little Debbie" from out of the pile of various junk food boxes scattered about the coffee table, like a votive shrine to the junk food industry.
Just then the Crane family caretaker and part-time housemaid Daphne Moon scampered out of her bedroom and down the hall, she froze in place when she caught sight of Frasier laying inert on the sofa like a beached whale, placing a potato chip into his mouth; "Ah Daphne I'm glad you're here!" Frasier exclaimed, "Would you mind handing me a few of those twinkies, I can't seem to reach them!" he added. Daphne shook her head and crossed her arms, "My Doctor Crane, how low we've fallen." She proclaimed with a tisk. Frasier's eyes bulged and he immediately rose up from the sofa, "I understood that!" He cried happily, much to Daphne's confusion. "Dad, dad get in here at once!" Frasier yelled, causing Martin to hobble out of his bedroom with Eddie tailing behind, "What is it, where's the fire?" Martin cried confusedly. "Dad, I can understand Daphne!" Frasier replied happily, "It's not like I've been speaking German the entire time!" Daphne rebuked. "You understood that?" Frasier asked, "I did!" Martin replied with glee. "Oh you're all bollocks!" Daphne grumbled before storming off back to her bedroom, "I don't know what bollocks are but I understood that too!" Martin added. "This is fantastic!" Frasier exclaimed, "It seems our Anglophobic ears have finally acclimated to Daphne's Cockney brogue!" he added. "Or these discreet audio translators really work!" Martin declared, pulling what looked like a hearing aide from his left ear. "Dad where did you get that?" Frasier inquired, "The Home Shopping Network." Martin replied as he casually walked over to and sat in his tattered brown/yellow/green chair. "Where on earth did you get the money for that?!" Frasier demanded, "You have your secrets, and I have mine." Martin replied almost smugly. "I see..." Frasier replied with narrowed eyes and a raised eyebrow. "I will get to the bottom of this, I assure you I will!" Frasier promised before Martin shushed him, "Be quiet Little House on the Prairie is coming on!"
"Elementary"
Later Frasier met with Niles at the outdoor patio, in front of Cafe Nervosa. Niles had hurried over to meet Frasier, having been called away from a Squash game and as a result was still fully geared up in his squash attire;
"Frasier I came as soon as I got your message!" Niles exclaimed, out of breath. "What's the emergency?" He added. "It's dad." Frasier said deadpan while stirring his coffee, "Oh my dear god...it's finally happened hasn't it?!" Niles screamed as he dropped to his knees and pulled at his hair. "WHY? WHY GOD WHY!?" He screamed angrily at the sky. "No Niles, he's not dead!" Frasier snapped dryly. "Oh good, that's good." Niles replied, quickly getting to his feet; dusting himself off and sitting across from his brother. "And might I add you would be a shoe-in for most over the top performance in a drama." Frasier added. "Well I was overwhelmed with emotion," Niles explained, "I was simply bubbling over." "I just bet..." Frasier retorted eyeballing Niles through narrowed suspicious eyes. "Well then what Is this big emergency that you got me out of my game for?!" Niles questioned. "Okay brace yourself." Frasier said leaning over the table, "Consider me thoroughly braced." Niles responded enthused. "Dad, has a secret." Frasier declared with a smug "knowing" look on his face. "Dad doesn't have any secrets," Niles denied, "We've thoroughly examined his belongings and storage facilities up and down and we've discovered everything there was to know!" Niles added. "Yes but this is a REAL secret!" Frasier said nonchalantly with a smirk and a wink. "Come again?" Niles asked, "What exactly IS this secret?!" Niles demanded impatiently. "Dad has a source of income." Frasier blurted, making Niles' expression change to an unimpressed deadpan one, "Frasier, Dad is a retired policeman he has pension!" Niles exclaimed. "No no, it's definitely NOT that." Frasier insisted. "Well how do you know?!" Niles inquired. "He bought an expensive language-based vocal translator." Frasier explained. Niles gasped, "Those tiny things that look like hearing aides?" Frasier just nodded slowly, "He bought them from the Home Shopping Channel." Frasier added. "My GOD we're not a rich family!" Niles cried, "We're not the Hiltons!" he continued. "So what do you say brother Watson, shall we work together to crack this case?" Frasier asked holding his hand outstretched toward his brother, who took it and shook it enthusiastically, "Elementary my dear brother Holmes!" Niles replied, before the two of them broke their handshake and immediately reached for bottles of hand sanitizer and germ killing spray, and vigorously cleansed each other's hands.
"Your Very Own Nigel Farage"
Later that night Frasier sat alone at his dining table going over documents and checking notes, while Daphne watched some boring British "comedy" show. Just then the landline telephone began ringing the "Frasier themesong", which made Daphne and Frasier stare at it and then at each other, Frasier raised his eyebrows and nodded in the direction of the phone; "Oh fine!" Daphne groaned, "Not like I'm a certified physio-therapist or anything!" She complained as she trodged over to the phone and answered it. "The Crane residence, certified caretaker speaking!" Daphne bellowed into the phone. "FREDERICK!" She cried happily, immediately causing Frasier to look up from his work, "You're wondering if your dad is home?" Daphne reiterated, looking at Frasier who waved his hands, signaling "no" like a madman. "Ah I'm sorry Freddy, he's just stepped out might I take a message for you?" Daphne lied while glaring at Frasier. "Oh I see!" Daphne exclaimed, "You say it's fine and he can just send a check?" Daphne replied. "Okay Freddy, I'll let him know. Goodbye." Daphne assured while hanging the phone up. "How much does he want?" Frasier hissed dryly with a scowl, "He says he needs two hundred dollars." Daphne replied. "W-what!? Two hundred dollars!?" Frasier screamed, "Why on EARTH does he need THAT much for?" "He says he needs it for his young Republicans Club meeting, and that if he doesn't get it that all of his hopes and dreams will be crushed, and he will be forced to take a job at 'Big Lots'." Daphne explained calmly while returning to her seat on the couch. "Ah well as long as it's for a just cause!" Frasier said with a nervous laugh. "Well if you're not careful you'll have your very own 'Nigel Farage' on your hands." Daphne warned. "My god!" Frasier gasped, "That sounds disgusting, is it contagious?" he inquired. "I don't know," Daphne admitted, "but you can ask the U.K. Men's water polo team."
The next day while out running errands, Frasier bumped into his ex-station manager Kenny Daly while waiting in line at a "Five Guys" hamburger restaurant;
"Frasier, longtime no see!" Kenny exclaimed. "Ah Kenneth, so good to see you!" Frasier lied. "Hey how've you been, I heard that KACL shuttered not long ago?" Kenny asked. "Well you know Kenneth it's been tough," Frasier stated. "It's been like Oedipus when scoured the desert for the last trickle of rainwater to feed to his heatstroke stallion, before rallying the Argonauts to raid Egypt!" Frasier faux waxed-poetic. "I...don't think that happened." Kenny replied confused. "Well you know it's all theoretical anyway." Frasier replied with a laugh. "Anyway what brings you here?" Frasier asked. "Oh just dropping off my work apron and gloves." Kenny replied with a sigh. "Ah another hard day's work?" Frasier inquired with a faux punch to the shoulder. "Well it was, until I was caught drinking straight from the malt machine and got fired." Kenny admitted with a frown. "Oh gosh Kenny I'm so sorry!" Frasier apologized. "It's my anxiety Doc, I can't handle the stress!" Kenny panicked. Just then the Five Guys manager glared and yelled at Kenny; "Hey Michelin Man!" he screamed, "I thought I banned you from this establishment!" He shouted as he grabbed a broom and slid across the counter like Shaft. "See ya Frasier!" Kenny yelled as he fled, "Bye Kenny!" Frasier replied with a wave. "And keep your stay-puft ass out of here!" The irate manager shouted out the door.
That evening Niles and Frasier laid in wait by Duke's, a local cop hangout and their father's favorite bar; "Oh this is so thrilling!" Niles giggled with glee. "I know, I am positively buzzing with excitement!" Frasier replied. "I am reminded of a time when Maris and I peformed a stakeout at a local Nordstrom's, we were camped out for at least thirty-six hours!" Niles regaled. "Why on earth where you camping at a Nordstrom's for so long?" Frasier inquired. "Well Maris was convinced she had lost an earring on the escalators, at first we were just searching for that one earring, but as the hours past it became like a second honeymoon, Maris and I had fun." Niles explained. "I don't think I've ever heard 'Maris' and 'fun' in the same sentence, much the same breath before now." Frasier muttered dryly. "Well..." Niles uttered, "It was the early nineties, it was a sign of the times." "Oh yes those crazy uncertain dark ages known as the 'nineties', thank God for Super Target, for allowing me to camp out in their sports department while I hunted for big game in their frozen food aisle!" Frasier ranted annoyed. "Well Frasier," Niles started, "you certainly know how to sap the fun out of any conversation." He added. "Please, my powers of social-communicative destruction are nowhere near as potent as Lilith's." Frasier replied.
Suddenly the door to Duke's opened and Martin hobbled out on his cane, turning back to wave goodbye to his fellow barmates before stepping into a yellow taxi cab and riding off down the street. "Damn it!" Frasier cursed under his breath. "Follow that cab!" Niles shouted as Frasier put the car into drive, turned the key and sped off in the same direction as Martin's cab.
Meanwhile Daphne Moon was lounging on the sofa while indulging in a box of bon-bons. The television was turned to the British Broadcasting Channel (American Version), and was watching an episode of Doctor Who; "Oi this new woman Doctor is such a prat!" Daphne groaned as she struggled to find the remote to change channels. Just then there was a quick and rapid pounding at the door, "Bloody hell!" Daphne complained as she rose from the couch and walked over to the door, turning the knob and opening it; "Pizza delivery?" asked Kenny Daly, dressed up as a Domino's deliveryman. "Well it's about bloody time!" Daphne spat, "Do you know how long I've been waiting for that Hawaiian pie?" She added. "Uh about eighteen minutes?" Kenny guessed. "Eighteen whole bloody minutes, that may as well be a whole day in the U.K!" she complained to the unassuming deliveryman. "So uh, that'll be sixteen forty-five." Kenny finally spoke up, Daphne reached into her pocket, retrieved a $20 bill and handed it to him. "Keep the change." She said before closing shut the door. Kenny turned away from the door, "Cool I finally get to keep all the change!" he exclaimed happily before doing the math in his head, "Oh wait...three bucks!?" he groaned disappointed before meandering away.
"I Would Turn Back If I Were You"
Later Frasier and Niles slowly crept along the darkened streets of the Georgetown neighborhood, derelict buildings and burning homeless fires surrounding the men; "My GOD!" Frasier gasped, "This urban setting is utterly deplorable!" He added. "I believe there's spooks around here!" Niles chittered nervously. "Aha!" Frasier gloated as he found a place to park, in a shadowy dark alley. He backed the car into the completely pitch black alley before putting the car in park and shutting it off. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING MAN!?" Niles quietly shouted. "Niles, we've been following dad for twenty-six minutes and he's led us here. Now's our opportunity to find out what he's up to, and confront him about his SECRET income!" Frasier boldly declared. "Are you still with me...brother Watson?" Frasier queried with an open hand outstretched, "Elementary brother Holmes!" Niles replied, taking and shaking his hand.
The Crane brothers stepped out of the car before slamming shut and locking the doors. Frasier took the lead, while Niles followed him closely behind leering cautiously over his shoulder, and looking behind himself for any signs of trouble. Then the two came across a sign written in blood that read; "I would turn back if I were you!" Niles audibly gulped and loosened his tie, "That's some good advice. By Frasier!" Niles said before attempting to run before being grabbed and consequently slapped on the face by Frasier; "Come to your senses man!" Frasier scolded. "We've nearly unraveled this mystery to its core!" Frasier added. "Y-you're right Frasier." Niles admitted, consoling his now beet-red cheek. "Lead on!" he added.
Just then the Crane Brothers came across a street sign that read; "XXX Street" and the two gave each other a "wtf" look before heading onward across the street. Up ahead the men noted seeing a blonde-haired woman garbed in a blue snakeskin miniskirt and a purple halter top and matching fringe cowboy boots; "Oh. My. God!" Niles gasped, "Is this the 'hoe stroll'?" He asked aloud. "Ah of course," Frasier said "XXX-street, the hoe stroll of Seattle." Frasier opined. But before the men could gather their thoughts they were ambushed by a very large African-American hooker and a tiny midget hooker, both dressed for business and eyeing the men up and down;
"Well honey, who do we have here?" the overweight black hooker asked while adjusting her earrings. "I am Doctor Frasier Crane," Frasier introduced himself. "And this is my brother Niles Crane." he added, "Also a doctor!" Niles corrected. "Oh yea, you're the one from the radio!" The midget hooker pointed, "Latrine you remember calling into that one show?" The midget asked. "Oh yeahhh!" Latrine replied with a cackle, "Anal that was some crazy shiznit that evening." Latrine bellowed. "So what brings you gentlemen out here?" Latrine asked eyeballing Niles intensely. "We-we're," Niles stuttered, "We're looking for you!" Frasier blurted out. "What?!" Niles panicked, "You were?!" Anal and Latrine asked in unison. "Yes we were at home feeling bored and lonely and asked ourselves 'what's waiting out there for us'?" Frasier explained. Niles elbowed Frasier as he noticed the blonde hooker one street up turn, and step into the light of the lamppost and looked somewhat familiar, "Hey Frasier look!" Niles whispered as Frasier looked up and squinted, "Roz?" He said aloud, "I-I'm sorry ladies we really wish we could entertain you but we just remembered we left our father in the car." Frasier apologized. "You left your own father in the car?!" Latrine gasped in horror. "Lord have mercy!" She added. "You animals!" Anal shouted, hitting the men with her purse. "I might be a hoe but I know how to respect MY daddy!" Latrine shouted as she took off her earrings and "Ugg boots" and prepared to attack the men, who in turn high-tailed it out of there.
"Roz! ROZ!" Frasier screamed as he approached her out of breath. "Frasier, what are you doing here?" Roz asked. "I think...the better...question...is...what...are...YOU...doing...here?!" Frasier said between gasps. "I'm out here WORKING because you lost me my JOB at the station, remember?!" Roz shouted in Frasier's face. "And what's he doing here?" Roz asked, motioning to Niles as she took a drag off her cigarette "He one of those 'sickies'?" she inquired, causing Niles to wrinkle his nose and lips up into a scowl. "Roz you don't...have to do this..." Frasier gasped. "Uh actually I do!" Roz said blowing smoke in Frasier's face, "And it's 'Sheila' while I'm on the clock!" she added.
Just then Martin ambled from around the corner with a stride in his step, completely dressed in a red velvet suit, with a matching cowboy hat with a matching cape trimmed with white fur and platform-fishbowl shoes, and wielding a "bejeweled" version of his cane; "Hey Sheila I just got back from the den and...!" Martin shouted as he approached Roz before looking up from counting his money clip of hundreds of dollars and shrieked when he recognized his sons making a deal with his prostitute. "Frasier! Niles!" Martin screamed in shock, "DAD!" the men yelled in unison. "What are you doing here?!" All three shouted at the same time.
"A Reasonable Explanation"
Martin held up his hands motioning for Niles and Frasier to calm down, "Now boys calm down and let's talk this through." Martin said calmly. "Do not tone police us!" Frasier shouted, "Yea!" Niles added. "Okay, alright just keep quiet and let me explain." Martin pleaded. "KEEP QUIET!?" Frasier bellowed, "YOU ARE A GO-BETWEEN FOR SCANDAL!" Frasier cried out, "A PROCURER OF SIN!" he added dramatically. "YOU ARE PIMPING OUT THE LOWLIFE DREGS OF THIS FALLEN SOCIETY!" Frasier added eloquently. "Hey, I happen to be one of those dregs!" Roz retorted offended, "Sorry Roz." Frasier quickly apologized. "It's not what it looks like!" Martin assured, "Dad you're literally dressed like pimp, carrying money like a pimp, and were in the process of approaching a whore like a pimp." Niles explained. "HEY!" Roz yelled angrily. "Sorry Roz." Niles replied. "Okay it's exactly what it looks like!" Martin gave up. "But why dad?" Frasier wondered, "What has made you fall so low?" he asked. "Fall?" Martin queried, "Fraze I've been doing this off and on since I was on the force." Martin admitted. The Crane brothers both gasped, while Niles nearly fainted causing Frasier to hold him up by his arms. "D-did mom know at least?" Frasier inquired disgusted. "Did she know? It was her idea!" Martin replied with a crisp laugh, causing Frasier to let go of Niles and collapse himself onto the street corner. "Look it was nothing, just a little casual fun and some money on the side." Martin explained. "Dad you are PIMPING MY PRODUCER!" Frasier screamed from atop a pile of garbage bags. "Okay, okay fine you want me to quit? Fine I quit!" Martin declared, "There happy?" He sarcastically asked. Frasier and Niles both clamored to their feet, brushing off banana peels, used condoms, and a variety of other debris off their suits before regaining their composure and replying; "Fine, let's go we brought the car." Frasier stated. "Nah I'm taking the mercedes home." Martin said as he hobbled off around the corner, "You have a mercedes!?" Niles questioned. "Have had one since eighty-two!" Martin shouted back. "Coming Niles?" Frasier asked, "Hell no I'm riding in the mercedes with dad!" Niles declared as he chased after his father.
Frasier turned to face Roz, "Roz, uh 'Sheila' I'm very sorry you have to do this." He said feeling ashamed. "Why, I'm not?" Roz replied, taking a drag off her cigarette. "It's just that you're the best producer I've ever known..." "I'm the ONLY producer you've ever known." Roz corrected. "Well yes, and I hate seeing you in this condition." Frasier confessed. "Frasier this 'condition' is called the human condition, and you have to put all of your little phobias and biases away if you want to make ends meet." Roz added. "Yes, I see..." Frasier said staring down at his feet, "And little Alice?" Frasier inquired. "She's fine, she's got a month of game pass on the Xbox and she's already beaten a whole university of privileged kids." Roz added. Frasier smiled and patted Roz on the shoulder, "Well as much as I'd hate to, I have to take my leave." He stated. "Oh thank god!" Roz blurted, "I was afraid you were going to proposition me!" Roz laughed. "Roz, my god!" Frasier gasped with a look of indignation and horror plastered on his face. "Go on, I'll be fine!" Roz said, lighting up another cigarette. "See you tom..." Frasier stopped mid sentence before realizing his faux-pas in the making, "See you." He said before turning and briskly walking down the alley to where his car was parked, only to find it stripped of tires and resting onto four sets of cinder-blocks. "Oh for Christ's sake!" Frasier screamed as he kicked at the car and angrily swung his fists into the air.
"Oi!" cried an obvious British voice, panicked Frasier assumed it was his housemaid Daphne, before turning and seeing a tall white man dressed all in black with blonde slicked back hair leaning against the brick alley wall, taking a drag off of a cigarette. "Avin' some caw trouble mate?" he asked, bellowing some smoke in Frasier's direction. "Oh no, I always jack all four of my tires and...remove my own stereo system whenever I come to this part of town." Frasier ranted sarcastically. "I'd say it was bloody good advice, if ya weren't being a cheek." the man said as he unfolded his arms, tossed the cigarette to the ground and approached the car. "Aye looks like ya been hit hard, prolly a chop shop." he added. "A chop shop?" Frasier reiterated scared, "Ya mate there's a few about town, local to the area. Prolly got scared an' left the hulk behind." He explained. "W-what'll I do?" Frasier asked panicked. "Aye dun worry 'bout it mate, I'll get ya sorted, just follow me right." The man declared as he turned and began walking out of the alley. Frasier's gut instinct told him that this was very obviously a set-up, while his heart told him that he was hungry and craving some cheerio-O's and that it was also past Mr. Bottomsley's bedtime, so like the sane and logical person he is he followed the strange blond man. Frasier kept up pace with the blonde-haired bloke all the way into a secluded parking lot, where a car sat parked under a gray matte tarp. The man took an edge of the tarp and held it back as like a magician would before revealing his trick, and he yanked off the tarp completely;
"Tada!" He announced revealing a near-mint condition jet black convertible. "Oh thank god!" Frasier cried with an audible gasp, allowing himself to hug the strange man. "Wot, you thought I was gunna mug you?" the man asked, "No dear god I thought because you're British that you drove a mini-cooper!" Frasier replied relieved. The man tore open the driver's side door and slid in, "Get in, I'll drive you home but first I gotta say 'allo to mah bird right quick." he said turning the key in the ignition. "Frasier did as he was told, and quickly climbed into the leather-backed seats with flames emblazoned on them and buckled himself in. "Ah she purrs like a kitten!" Frasier noted with a smile, "Aye brilliant ainshee?" he replied. "Oh I'm Frasier by the way, you may have heard me on the radio." Frasier said with an outstretched hand, "Name's Billy," the blonde-haired bloke responded shaking his hand. "Yea you're an alright quack from what I've heard." But Frasier was too busy wondering if it would be considered "racist" to ask this obviously British man if he knew Daphne Moon, based solely upon the fact that they are both from the United Kingdom.
Billy drove Frasier down the street and pulled up by XXX-STREET and put the car in park, "Jess a seck mate, gotta go check on my bird, won't be a minute." Billy assured as he climbed out of the driver's seat. Frasier darted his head about eyeing the street up and down, realizing that this was in fact the very same "XXX Street" that Roz A.K.A 'Sheila' had been "working" at. Then it dawned on him, "My god..." Frasier droned. Billy lit up a cigarette for 'Sheila', before locking lips with her. "Ay sugar, how's yer noit been?" Billy inquired. "It's been pretty good, better now that you're here." Roz said with a wink. "You got that money for me baby?" Billy asked, kissing Roz's hand, causing her to giggle and blush. "I do, but you have to reach for it bad boy." Roz replied, licking her lips. Then Billy casually reached into Roz's cleavage and retrieved a fifty dollar bill, "You're capitol baby!" Billy muttered as he pulled Roz into an embrace and kissed her neck, "You're...you're FRASIER!" Roz screamed as she noticed the radio doctor standing a foot behind her on the sidewalk. "What the hell are you still doing here?" Roz complained. "Aye you two acquainted already?" Billy acknowledged. "He's a popular psychologist, everyone knows who he is." Roz replied. "Actually William, she is my producer." Frasier stated, "I 'WAS' your producer." Roz corrected, taking Billy's cigarette and smoking it. "Oi what's happened baby bird?" Billy asked, trying to console Roz, who vehemently denied knowing what he was talking about. "Oh...it was just some stupid mix-up with this pokemon game." She explained. "Yea you mean poker-man go?" Billy questioned. "That's the one!" Roz replied. "Ace, I love that game!" Billy declared. "That's great..." Roz said sarcastically. "Ay dock 'ow many of them 'mons do ya have?" Billy wondered. "Oh I don't know William, I had somewhere in the neighborhood of 300 before chucking my smart phone off the balcony in frustration." Frasier responded modestly. "While this is really great and all, I think it's time for you to drive the doctor home, BILL and we can get together later." Roz said while physically moving Frasier into the backseat of the Convertible. "Aye Roz, c'mere an plant one." Billy demanded, to which Roz obeyed. "Billy, it's 'Sheila' when I'm working." Roz said coyly. "Aw bird, yew gnaw I ain't ever going to 'member that." Billy admitted before getting in the car and driving away with Frasier waving at Roz from the backseat.
Later that night Frasier pushed open the door to his Elliott-Bay Towers condominium and stepped inside, with Billy following behind; "Tada!" Frasier announced quietly as he showed Billy the fireplace. "Noice digs Doctor Crane." Billy whispered back. "William, would you care for a glass of sherry before hitting the road?" Frasier inquired before grabbed the bottle. "Naw I'm driving 'member, need to keep ma noggin clear." Billy replied. "Ah yes, right of course!" Frasier said while softly hitting his own head and seemingly having forgotten the important lesson he had learned in the last chapter, about driving while impaired or distracted. Billy glanced down at his smart phone, before wincing at the Doctor. "Sorry mate, its midnight and I've gotta jet." Frasier nodded in understanding, "Of course I completely understand." He replied. "But how 'bout we meet up this weekend, oil bring ma bird and you bring yours we'll paint the town red!" Billy declared. Frasier's eyes lit up like a little kid unwrapping the perfect Christmas present, or a teenage girl being asked to the prom by her crush. "O-of course William, I'd love that!" Frasier blurted like a girl in heat, "I-I mean ACES!" he shouted, "Capitol idea mate!" He yelled as he slapped Billy on the shoulder before ushering him out the door and bidding him good night. Frasier then turned his back to the door, his eyes in a daze with a lovelorn look plastered across his face with visible pink and red cartoon hearts popping in and out, and dancing above his head.
(End Credits roll, shows Frasier dressed up like a typical 1950's greaser wearing a black pompadour wig and pretending to comb his hair while leaning up against Billy's black convertible and trying to impress two teenage girls. Billy and Roz get into the car unbeknownst to Frasier who is still posturing and drive off, causing him to fall on the ground and the girls laugh and walk away.)
"Hey baby, I hear the blues a-callin'
Tossed salads and scrambled eggs
Oh My
Mercy
And maybe I seem a bit confused
Yeah maybe, but I got you pegged!
Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
But I don't know what to do with those tossed salads and scrambled eggs
They're callin' again."
NEXT Episode 6: "Confessions of a 40-Something, Single White Male Drama Queen"
No comments:
Post a Comment